Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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