he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
