Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the day after is always just damage control
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
