he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
