Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Houston, we have a squirter
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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