I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
