If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
