You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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