What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
