I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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