Porn is love you can see.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
