discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
