i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
