Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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