i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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