He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
