Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
