Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
