i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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