Me too!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
