I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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