That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Small penises have feelings too.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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