yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize