I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
