That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
