Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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