your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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