Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
