i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
