She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
