we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
