so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
