is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
