I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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