Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
