At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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