The maid of honor just puked.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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