Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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