kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
