why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
