Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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