What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
