you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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