But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
