just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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