dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
