apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize