I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
