Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
