Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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