You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
